Night Swimming (that photo on the dashboard)

Look what arrived in the mail today! Without a glitch! No call from immigration saying this fee wasn't paid or that line wasn't signed --- smoooooth sailing, which I take as a sign that it is high time for a trip. Heck. Yes.

In other news, I am apparently a night swimmer. In the middle of the night, I imagine woken by that crazy loud storm we had, Bill looked over to see me on my back, arms in the air in front of me, waving back and forth. Gracefully, I guess. He asked me if I was awake, and I looked at him with a chipper, "Hi!" and then proceeded to roll over, fast asleep.

I remember none of this. Having lived by myself for about seven years, I wonder how often I night swim without witness.

2000: 2010

In 2000, my first passport enabled me to spend a semester abroad in Dublin Ireland. Great adventure, good times spent during a summer amidst Irish folk and artsy kids from Tisch, NYU--- I learned the value of that wee little book and loved the stamps that showed my travel path. I cannot believe that ten years have passed, but yes, I looked at my passport the other day and realized it expires in a month. Oh, that will not do.

Renewing is easy, just send your old one in by mail with the application, fee, and two new shiny little pictures. Tip: AAA will take these for you and for cheaper than at the post office (if you are a member). And now, time for some compare/contrast!

wow. just wow. When I took my 2000 photo, my roommate's response was "it's not a bad picture, I've just never seen you make that face before." I think I was sick (ergo, pale) and I had definitely waged war on my poor eyebrows (poor plucked within an inch of their lives eyebrows!).

But at least they let me smile.

So. Now I am confined to the US for... 2-4 weeks. Um. K.

So I says to meself

(scene? Target.
intent? A few random knick knacks for Christmas, a doily and some water.
conversation? See below.)

Me: Oooh, hey, that's a cute sweater. Pick that up.
Me: Oooh. Look at that notebook. It's recycled! Perfect for work. Get rid of those post-its. I'll get 2!
Me: Oooh hey, check this out. A red plaid flannel vest with a fur trim hood! Sure, it's a bit Forever 21, but whatevs. Put me in coach. I'm warm and COZY....
Me: I should try all this on. (time lapse) Sweet. Cuteness.

Me: Hmmmm...

Me: I didn't come in for any of this...I have a lot of sweaters and this one looks kind of young which makes sense since I picked it up in the kid's section. I should really stop doing that. Huh. $8. I don't really neeeeeed this..... (setting it down). Okay. Right. No go.
Me: And I definitely don't need TWO notebooks. $4? One is fine.

Me: Hmmmm....

Me: (holding red plaid vest with furry hood, face a little sad but contemplative) and I HAVE two vests already, and one IS red, although definitely not that cozy. Huh. $15. K. Um. Well. Shoot. (Puts down on random rack and runs away) (really).
Me: Phew. Away from temptation. I win! None of those were very expensive though.... but wait. (mental math) Dude. I just saved myself like $25! By not purchasing!

Me:.....


Me: So that's how that works.

hekyll and jyde

"Cancer Strength (Ace of Pentacles) To affect change in the world, we must first make that change in ourselves. It’s easy to profess what’s right and wrong, but not so easy to be an example of these convictions. There are periods in life when you must account for your behavior, and, even more importantly, your contradictions. A frustrating situation is currently offering you this opportunity. Refrain from controlling things and you’ll uncover an area of vulnerability. This area is asking to be developed, so “walk your talk” and be proactive in your efforts to change."

My initial response to this horoscope was "screw you!" followed by "sigh" and then a memory. When I was at summer camp, I tie-dyed this shirt I had that was old and tattered, a real favorite. The shirt said, written every which way in the funky early nineties fashion, "To really make change, you must first change your mind." At the time, 8th grade me considered myself enlightened and profound, thoughtful and deep. Now, in photos, it just looks like a slightly idealistic baggy tshirt.

That summer at camp, we would sneak through the fence to the creek, and Teddy would have his guitar (he played so incredibly well). A group of us would hang out by the barely flowing water, not really doing anything aside from being together, and I lay there, staring up at the waving leaves of cottonwood. The sound of the leaves, all blowing and rustling, was poignant and drifted in and out of the guitar sound. Me to myself: "Remember this."

(remembering)

Update:

Secret Identities

by dayby night

raising

Last night, yoga was hot. There were thirty people crammed into a room, staggered so arms and legs would not collide as we half-mooned and triangled. Sweaty and exhausted, we breathed and held our bodies in weird ways and stretched, thinking boy oh boy this is going to be sore tomorrow, but boy oh boy it's almost bathing suit time, oh right I should be breathing and relaxing into it, and om-ing. I stood at the top of my mat and turned...and that's when I saw it.

A tiny raisin. A soft raisin, warm. Sitting in the middle of my mat. It looked like a tiny turd. I pondered the raisin for a brief moment before snatching it up and stowing it near my towel. Om-ing forgotten, I shifted quickly into the newest contortion, wondering how the raisin had arrived there and who could have seen it and omg, did they think it was a tiny turd? I grabbed the arch of my foot and straightened my leg, streeeetch. Wondering.

I had a stowaway raisin, either from the making of rice pudding (with raisins) on Sunday night, or from munching on some trail mix Monday mid-morning. Apparently I carried it with me, tucked somewhere (sleeve? bra?) until it found its way into the middle of my blue yoga mat. A misleading sight.

Oh Om.

30% chance of rain

Fall has officially arrived; I am watching a storm just north of us through my office window and rumor has it, the bay is going to see some sprinkles. It's breezy, overcast, gloomy, and I kinda like it. But the day needs some color to it, so I give you the above....it's my nieces interpretation of Bill and I. I made his guitar. Brinly put on my shoes. Apparently, I am also very tan.
Happy Friday!

I don't feel the need to make grandiose statements anymore (she says, one eyebrow raised)

hello, 29.

upgrade upscale upstairs

futon out. new fancy loveseat with ottoman in. two fantastic movers. two difficult to navigate flights of stairs with four landings. a lot of thanks. beers and cookies on me.

Just turn around and go back inside.

Today is one of those days when you were in the shower, trying to decide what to wear, you think, Oh, I haven't worn that green belt in awhile, I should wear it, and then, Oh, I haven't worn those black pants with that square design on them in awhile either, and then, I should wear them together because that would be fun, and then, Oh, I should wear that brown shirt with it because it is cute and has puffy sleaves and then I have those fun flats to wear, Oh, look how last minute mellow fashionista I am.

And then you put it all on. And the belt doesn't want to stay in place because the pants have no loops and all facets (belt and pants) are slippery. And the tank you had on under said brown cute shirt looks too butch, so you opt for a more feminine one, but the bottom hem of it is a bit baggy. And you realize you need to make the 8 AM meeting at work, so you don't have time to blowdry your hair and you stick it back in a barrette. And, when putting on make-up, you are scouring the dregs of your blush with your blush brush (poor brush) and add that to your mental list of impending purchases. And you fly out the door with coffee and purse and presentation notes only to get halfway down the stairs and remember you left your phone charging on the piano.

By the time you get to work, the belt is tossed, abandoned in the backseat. You've scrounged out some renegade jewelry in your car to spice up your now blah outfit. Hair is in a pudgy ponytail. And it occurs to you that pants held together with safety pins (buttons long gone) should really be tossed out the window. But you have to wait until you get home to do that. Because then you would be pantless. And that would be awkward. Especially during Monday morning meeting.

............really?

So, basically, if you follow the rules of responsibility and adulthood and schedule regular maintenance on your teeth and car, you end up with the following: A sore jaw and a car in the shop because they royally screwed up a minor repair.

Nutshell? Pain and Inconvenience.

Awesome.