So I says to meself

(scene? Target.
intent? A few random knick knacks for Christmas, a doily and some water.
conversation? See below.)

Me: Oooh, hey, that's a cute sweater. Pick that up.
Me: Oooh. Look at that notebook. It's recycled! Perfect for work. Get rid of those post-its. I'll get 2!
Me: Oooh hey, check this out. A red plaid flannel vest with a fur trim hood! Sure, it's a bit Forever 21, but whatevs. Put me in coach. I'm warm and COZY....
Me: I should try all this on. (time lapse) Sweet. Cuteness.

Me: Hmmmm...

Me: I didn't come in for any of this...I have a lot of sweaters and this one looks kind of young which makes sense since I picked it up in the kid's section. I should really stop doing that. Huh. $8. I don't really neeeeeed this..... (setting it down). Okay. Right. No go.
Me: And I definitely don't need TWO notebooks. $4? One is fine.

Me: Hmmmm....

Me: (holding red plaid vest with furry hood, face a little sad but contemplative) and I HAVE two vests already, and one IS red, although definitely not that cozy. Huh. $15. K. Um. Well. Shoot. (Puts down on random rack and runs away) (really).
Me: Phew. Away from temptation. I win! None of those were very expensive though.... but wait. (mental math) Dude. I just saved myself like $25! By not purchasing!

Me:.....


Me: So that's how that works.