hekyll and jyde

"Cancer Strength (Ace of Pentacles) To affect change in the world, we must first make that change in ourselves. It’s easy to profess what’s right and wrong, but not so easy to be an example of these convictions. There are periods in life when you must account for your behavior, and, even more importantly, your contradictions. A frustrating situation is currently offering you this opportunity. Refrain from controlling things and you’ll uncover an area of vulnerability. This area is asking to be developed, so “walk your talk” and be proactive in your efforts to change."

My initial response to this horoscope was "screw you!" followed by "sigh" and then a memory. When I was at summer camp, I tie-dyed this shirt I had that was old and tattered, a real favorite. The shirt said, written every which way in the funky early nineties fashion, "To really make change, you must first change your mind." At the time, 8th grade me considered myself enlightened and profound, thoughtful and deep. Now, in photos, it just looks like a slightly idealistic baggy tshirt.

That summer at camp, we would sneak through the fence to the creek, and Teddy would have his guitar (he played so incredibly well). A group of us would hang out by the barely flowing water, not really doing anything aside from being together, and I lay there, staring up at the waving leaves of cottonwood. The sound of the leaves, all blowing and rustling, was poignant and drifted in and out of the guitar sound. Me to myself: "Remember this."

(remembering)

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