The best sentence I've ever written...

"During construction, a person qualified in wetland restoration will monitor construction to ensure construction is as specified in the final detailed construction drawings and specifications."

-An excerpt from a report I wrote two years ago and apparently, appallingly, never proofread.

When you don't have cable

This is my Holiday Greeting

Season's Greetings!

I'm all elfed up

Need to kill some time at work? Elf yourself.

http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=9558138427

Seriously?

I was just looking for holiday party shoes. Instead, found these.

Diamond Dogs

Holly and I stumbled (yay stumbled) out of a Mission bar into the rain on Saturday night. And into my first legit encounter with the Hot Dog Guy. Some people love him, some people hate him, but I have to side with poignant affection for the guy. I think he saved our lives that night. We ate three. And also got muddy, but the source of that is a bit up in the air...

The Garbage Patch

SF Gate's lead story at 9:29 this morning talks about The Garbage Patch. What is it? Read:

"The so-called Great Pacific Garbage Patch, a stewy body of plastic and marine debris that floats an estimated 1,000 miles west of San Francisco, is a shape-shifting mass far too large, delicate and remote to ever be cleaned up, according to a researcher who recently returned from the area."

Um. wow. Plastic sucked into a mid-ocean gyre caused by tradewinds, broken down into tiny little pieces of plastic so it's like a soup, not a piece of bread, mingled with fishing nets and tires and all adding up to a floating Texas times two. Go Gavin; get rid of those plastic bottles in government buildings. Reuse your plastic bags. Use cloth saks at the grocery store. Everything does NOT need to be bigger in Texas.

Read the whole article here.

When all else fails

try kitty litter? We'll see if the kitty litter is the winning option for removing the oil the Kia Spectra left behind. Other options? Degreaser and detergent.

The Rentals

I have been renting cars.

Day 1:

Car Number 1: Brand new white Toyota Camry from the dealership where they are fixing my car. HUGE car. Found out my insurance would cover a rental through Enterprise, so I returned the white boat quickly.

Car Number 2: My reservation at Enterprise was incredibly last minute, so all that was available to me was a Dodge Caliber. Looks like an angry bulldog, white with a black top. It rattled extensively, the battery light kept going on, and the seat was REALLY low, so I looked like a wee little old lady peering over the dash.

Day 2:

Car Number 3: Our love affair was brief. I was trading the bulldog for a Hyundai Tuscon: cute mini-SUV, maroon and perfect for Bill's and my weekend trip up to Chico to see Anna, Clyde, and Carly. Drove it to the gas station (they of course gave it to me empty). Got back in, tried the wipers....and an "X" of wiper blades appeared across the windshield. Totally broken. Tried to fix them, tried to convince myself we didn't NEED wipers, but since it was raining as I was debating, I drove back to Enterprise.

Car Number 4: Kia Spectra. Sigh. This "beauty" got us up to Chico, but proceeded to vomit oil repeatedly and in large amounts on Anna's driveway. It was towed. I think it's in Marysville.

Day 4:

Enterprise is closed on Sundays, except for their airport locations, none of which are very close to Chico. They will not come pick you up. They might reimburse the cab that brings you to the airport. Combustion(leslie).

Fresh from the unhelpfulness of THAT car company, we went to the OPEN Budget car rental down the street. The guy gave us a great deal, and within minutes we had...

Car Number 5: White Ford Focus. Not glamorous, kinda smells like smoke, but hey, it freakin' runs. And I finally rented from a company actually willing to help me out, rather than shrug their shoulders and claim hands tied. Hands are never tied. Not really.

Oh, and Bill wanted Car Number 5 to be the Mustang that Budget had, and we were THAT close to getting it...but it was substantially more expensive. Bummer, because it would have been way cool...

No word yet on my car and we haven't found the girl that hit and ran. If anyone sees a Black Jeep Cherokee (mid 90s) with a crunched right front bumper/light driven by a blonde girl leaving her scrawled email on cars she thrashes, send a message my way.